I'm still here.
Still thinking about weight loss. Still feeling fat and self-conscious. My pants are definitely not fitting, which means it's time to get back to reality here. No more excuses about my ankle or my new summer cold. I can't eat a bag of chips per week along with other delicious snack foods and expect to lose weight. I'm not stupid enough to believe that. I also won't lose weight if I sit on my ass all day - I know that it just leads to me thinking about food. And when I think about food, my mind always somehow manages to get to chips. Hell, I'm thinking about them right now. But I won't eat chips.
Somehow I've managed to get back on track the last couple of days, but it needs to last longer than that. Weeks longer, months longer. I haven't seen a loss on the scale the last few days, but I am assuming it's my body just waiting me out, seeing if I have the stamina and endurance to push through it and stay on track.
I made myself go out and run Saturday morning. My ankle is mostly better (just hurts when I cross my legs with pressure on my ankle) and it lasted on the run (week 6, run#1 again) except this time I went back to my ol' hilly route. That killed me. Part of my run involved running up that damn hill again and I just couldn't do it. I had no idea how much longer I had to run for, I was already part way up the hill and I had to stop. There was only 30 more seconds. I wish I had kept with it, but that's what I get for taking a break from running for two weeks. Maybe I would have been able to back then. Oh well... at least it was for a good reason for once. I think I'll do the same run at least one more time before moving on - I have to run for 25 minutes straight soon and I want to make sure I am ready. I won't fail.
My friend last week told me she was trying to lose weight and was using an online food tracker (myfitnesspal.com). A very surprising revelation because she is not one for technology or gadgetry. Today after getting ridiculously frustrated with the Daily Plate and it's slooooow loading times, I decided to see what her site was about. I love it. So simple and quick, it was exactly what I was looking for to replace the Daily Plate. So I'm a changed woman. It's nice to have a working calorie counter again. It's now my home page. I am as happy with it as I was the Daily Plate back in 2007, so maybe I'll get back some of my motivation. Somehow I got through the weekend, so it's a start. Now just through the week. And the rest of the month. I can do this! (I really need my pants back...)

Ugh... I twisted/sprained my ankle while running outside last week. I had already finished my podrunner intervals and I had a song I thought would be good to run to, so I did. Well, in the last two steps of my 'second' run I half hit the pavement, half hit the grass (and those two weren't level). So my foot completely rolled out and next thing I know I was on the ground. Thank god it was dark so a small amount of my dignity stayed intact. Fuck! It hurt! I sat on that sidewalk for a good few minutes and wanted to cry. And I still had to walk home. Totally teaches me a lesson... never do more exercise than necessary. So I've been taking it easy, not playing softball, not walking the 8km to/from school. Luckily it's been raining a lot, so I haven't missed too much. But nonetheless I feel like a blob. And I'm worried that my running will fall by the wayside. Although my ankle is 90% better, I don't know whether to wait until it's completely fine - or will that take weeks? That's the one good thing about being sedentary, you rarely get injured. I'm just lying in wait for the first broken bone, the first shin splint and I am not looking forward to it. Even my knee problems only really started when I began running. Anyways, I'm not actually going to give up the exercise just so I stay safe, but it is one of the most frustrating things to deal with. I'm just really lucky it wasn't worse.

Whoo! I ran the full 20minutes today! Week 5 is all done now. I was nervous going into it as yesterday's run (8min run-5min walk-8min run) was hard enough. The first 15-18 minutes were fine and then the last two just killed me. I was hoping to get away without looking at the clock, but alas, I gave in lest I have many minutes left to go. I was happily surprised to find that I had less than 2 minutes to run (any more and I probably would have given up) - I was already "running" as fast as I could, which I somehow believe is slower than I walk. So, sweet jesus! It's done. Now on to 25minutes of running and then up to 30minutes. I'm excited, I am pretty sure I can do it! (okay... I CAN do it).

Otherwise... life has been unusually busy. I went to visit a friend and get some hot tubbing action in. Then I had to drive back to Toronto in time to host a night with a friend who I hadn't seen in over a year. We went out to a play (a small indie one) and had drinks after. I had to kick her out early Saturday morning before my dad and my aunt and uncle came over to head to the CFL (Canadian Football) game where Toronto was against Saskatchewan. Sask is the birthplace of my dad's family and myself, so I enjoyed seeing them whoop the Toronto Argo's ass. Saturday night was all for me, and then Sunday was a bbq with a softball double header. Busy, busy, busy! Softball was great - we won the first game by over 20 runs and won the second one by about 10. However, in the last inning of the last game I got whacked in the thigh by a batted softball. It hurt so much, it kind of knocked the wind out of me for a second. It has turned into a huge (huge!) purple bruise, although it doesn't hurt nearly as much as those first few moments. Thank god that particular area is well padded! (Hey... fat is good for something). I was a little concerned about running on it yesterday and today, but besides feeling the muscles a little more than usual (as if I had worked out the day before), all was fine and dandy.

So now I am trying to get back to my normal routine... let's see how that works this week. At least the exercise is back to normal. :)

Weight: 224.6lbs Down: 2.6lbs

It was a good day yesterday. Despite being my day off I woke up relatively early (not too early now) and got myself on the trail. It was a cool, overcast day, but I was thankful for the chilly breeze when the sweat arrived. I realized yesterday how much I hate walking up hills. I do it because they are there and I've established a routine of walking up them (and back down), but I hate it. I'm tired after the 4 minute hike up and I don't like how I have to interrupt my intervals for a serious intake of water and air. I can only hope it will get easier as the weight is lost or as I do it more often (although, you'd think after 4 weeks of walking up that hill almost 3 times a week would have made it easier already). Anyways, for my 20 minute run at the end of the week I will need to find a flatter, longer surface to run on. I know that it only takes me 16 minutes after my warm-up to get to that big hill and there is no way I want to run my last 4 minutes up that hill. Self-preservation and all.

Eating was alright yesterday as well. I wasn't perfect, but I was reasonable. I have had some chocolate ice cream in my freezer for over a week now (a miracle in itself) and I wanted some, had some and successfully put the rest back in the freezer. I used a small bowl and was perfectly satiated. I also went to the movies with my sis (to see My Sister's Keeper) and ate 4 or 5 sour patch kids, about 5 handfuls of popcorn and sat otherwise sipping my diet coke. It felt good to have control over the eating, even if I wasn't perfect. I also ate a plate full of fresh veggies and had a bit of fruit salad throughout the day. I drank tons of water and I am pretty sure I got my fibre. And a loss was rewarded to me on the scale. Yesterday morning was 226.6lbs and today is even better. One thing I am not doing is counting calories right now. I want to try the whole intuitive eating thing for a bit. If it doesn't work then I know I truly need some kind of accountability in that section of weight loss, but for now it feels good to trust myself.

Weight: 227.2lbs

The day went alright. I knew I'd be having a poutine lunch with my sister, so I walked to school and cut back on food the rest of the day. I had an awesome poutine with mushrooms, onions, chicken and some bacon. Awesome, but it was enough to tide me over for a while. I'm feeling better about eating, feeling cravings subside more than they have in weeks. My breakfast was a reasonable egg and piece of toast with my fruit/yogurt smoothie. It filled me up until lunchtime proving that I don't need to eat a full omelette, two pieces of toast and a smoothie to get through the day. Water intake has been good and I am slowly getting my fibre up (I really like the All-Bran Strawberry Bites) and I actually did pilates. So I'm getting there.

I am hoping it doesn't rain tomorrow so I can get me a run in - get this damn week 5 started.

I know this is a super boring post, but I just need to get myself back in the habit of writing about weight loss again...

I can't believe it's already July - half the summer is over! I've been surviving this whole thing, school and life... making it through.

The running is going really well - I just finished my last 'Week 4' run and I'll be gearing up for week 5 sometime in the next day or two. I'm a little bit nervous about this week because I'll have to be running 20 minutes (in-a-row!) by the end. I don't know if I'm up for it, but I'll try. The running has been good, the only problem I ever have is when I have to run part way up one of the huge hills. After it, I always need a bit of a break before I get back to the intervals - I am hoping it doesn't screw with my progress, but the fact I run up half the hill and then have to spend the next whole walking interval finishing it, I figure I can't be behind.

Food has never been good, but this morning I changed my scene a bit. After my run I went grocery shopping and forced myself to get good stuff. I'm going to try to get back to how I used to eat - like a normal person. I am trying to get my water in and fibre this week. I also want to try for more and smaller meals throughout the day. I'd like to feed my metabolism. Today went well... let's see how it goes tomorrow.

My birthday is in less than two months and I'd like to see a drop in the scale (20lbs would be wonderful). I'll try to post on my progress more often. I need it.

Hello hello!

I'm still here, I swear. I've been plugging away at the couch to 5k program which is going pretty well so far. I just finished the second run for week 3 and it hasn't been that difficult. The humid heat makes it hard and having to run part way up a hill makes it extra hard, but it's completely doable. Week 4 looks like it's going to be hard - that's when the running time ends up getting longer than the walking. But I am still optimistic.

The eating has been hit or miss. One day I'll be right on track, the next day (like yesterday) my friends will invite me out for brunch, ice cream and then snacks at my place. Fun and all... but not conducive to weightloss, especially when the ice cream is from cold stone (OMG... they just opened one in Toronto - 'birthday cake remix' is actually the best thing I have ever put in my mouth, but I was good and only ate about a 1/3rd of it - I'm still dreaming of it though). I am eating more vegetables and I am eating more fresh fruit. I am taking my vitamins and drinking lots of water - mostly because I sweat like a pig every day in this humidity. So there's good and bad.

I finally bought cleats for softball and I didn't realize what a difference they would make. Running to the bases becomes much easier and I may actually be running faster because I have some traction. Definitely the best 25$ I've spent in a while. And yes we won our 4th game in a row Sunday night for a record of 5-1. Not too shabby.

Anyways, I am off to make some post-run food!