Everything's Not Lost

Weight: 230.8lbs (+0.6)

Happy Father's Day everyone! Today I celebrated the day by visiting my dad and making him breakfast with my sister. It was good - nothing over the top, just too much darn food. It didn't seem like it when we were grocery shopping though: eggs, peameal bacon, orange juice, toast, tomatoes, fruit salad, vanilla yogurt... Delicious, but I had eaten more than half my calories for the day in that one meal. Worth it though. I usually eat close to that for breakfast most days anyway (it's always been my favourite meal). Other than that, we relaxed and enjoyed the beautiful day... indoors while my sister was taught that you never ask dad for advice in resume-writing if you want to continue to love him. It's just not his strong-suit. He can build you a deck, make delicious apple strudel, but avoid the soft-skills.

I've been procrastinating applying to jobs (I'm still waiting on my certification) and that has been severely affecting my sleep lately. Sleep was always easily had by me; if I'm tired, I lay my head on the pillow and I am gone into la-la land. But now it's me just laying there with thousands of thoughts flying through my head. I've started counting backwards from one hundred, but I end up forgetting the numbers and just slipping back into my neuroses. So I guess the one trick to this is that I stop procrastinating, eh? Apply for those freaking jobs already and get it over with. It's just easy to think that I can't fail if I don't try. The obvious caveat to that is that I do not succeed either. Honestly, I'm a little frightened for the future, whether or not I become employed. I did actually have one interview last week that I am not holding my hopes for. It was in the same place as I trained, although other students were interviewed for the position as well. I only told two people that I went to the interview. It was mostly to protect my pride, and also to stop my family from constantly asking me about it. Something I have recently experienced. "So... did you hear about that job yet?", "That job contact you yet?" "Are they still hiring for that job?" Jesus, it was frustrating and I told them more than once to stop asking - I would promise to tell them if I heard anything. And they didn't... so when I did finally go on this interview, I figured it was best to just keep the information away from them for the moment. They'll survive.

I need to get my act in gear with these other job postings. At the very least if I do get called into future interviews it will be excellent practice, right (I do look on the bright side once in a millenia). So just do it?

As for weight... up a little bit this morning. Who knows why? I just accept that my body likes to drop some weight, then hold about steady, drop and then steady out - it's up to me not to give up due to frustration. The sleeplessness and the earlier wake-up this morning might have contributed, but then there are a thousand other reasons as we dieters (ahem... lifestyle changers) know... And I remained on track today in spite of the large breakfast (and my current hunger). I'm within calories, played some softball for exercise and need only to round out my water intake to make it a successful day. Let's keep it up Bri!